7 Signs that Perfectionism is your Achilles Heel

By Kate Bennett, PsyD

Are you a high achieving athlete that focuses on perfectionism to optimize your success? Chances are, if you chose to read this blog, then the answer is yes.

And, if so, I am not surprised. We tend to regard perfection as the fast track to achieving success and optimizing our potential in sport (and other areas of life).

However, I am here to tell you that it might be your perfectionism that is hindering your success.

Perfectionism is the Achilles heel of confidence.

Following are common struggles that perfectionists often face.

1.     You struggle to compete as well as you train. If you are one of those athletes who crushes it in workouts but find yourself disappointed after competition, you might be stuck in the perfectionistic trap.

2.     Coaches tell you that you are not competing to your potential. Your coaches see how hard you work and question why you struggle to perform. Depending on the coach, they might try to encourage you to “try harder,” yell at you to stop making recurring mistakes, or drop you out of line-ups.

3.     You are preoccupied about what could happen if you make this move or try that skill. You find your mind runs ahead of the competition or drill, looking ahead to what might happen to try to avoid making mistakes. Some call this “paralysis by analysis.”  

4.     You find yourself quick to pass off possession to a teammate to avoid making a mistake. Having possession feels too risky. You pass it along like a hot potato, worrying that your skills will somehow fail you. Instead of taking the risk, you move the ball (or lead) along to a teammate to reduce your chances of messing up.

5.     Even when coaches are telling you that you had a great game, you struggle to look past the mistakes that you made that day. You may struggle to hear all the positive feedback that you receive because your brain only sees your faults.

6.     You find yourself devaluing important events even though you really do care about them. Perfectionistic athletes commonly become apathetic towards important moments to avoid disappointing themselves. This might mean that you really want to be a part of the line-up or get recruited by a certain coach. Rather than sharing these goals with others, you pretend that you don’t care. You may not work as hard at practice or back off in showcases to avoid feeling disappointment later. It feels easier to say “I didn’t try” than to admit that you gave everything and didn’t achieve your goals. Apathy is perfectionism’s wingman.

7.     You question most of what you do, wondering if anything that you accomplish is ever good enough. Perfectionism is defined by the absence of flaws. The only way to know if you have made a mistake is to analyze your performances. And, last time I checked, no athlete or competition demonstrates flawlessness. That perfectionistic brain of yours gets attached to the mistakes and makes it near impossible to hold onto your successes of the day.

Here’s the problem: Perfectionism is rooted in a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset. To optimize your true potential, you must be willing to take risks, fail, and trust that adversity leads to strength and wisdom.

The great myth is that perfectionism supports confidence. Sometimes, athletes even confuse perfectionism as a sign of confidence.

But it’s not. If fact, perfectionism is self-doubt in disguise. Trying to be perfect will only yield to ongoing feelings of doubt and fear. Furthermore, perfectionism is risk-avoidant, lest you might fail, and leaves you stuck with feelings of anxiety.

Building confidence means redirecting your focus on what you CAN control in the PRESENT moment.

Let’s take the mystery out of confidence by reducing it to a basic mathematical equation:

Past Success +

Preparation +

Present Moment Controllables +

Passion =

Confidence

Step 1: Take note of all the success that you have achieved in sport at this point – this is your time to shine. Drumroll, please. Let the bragging commence! No, seriously, I want you to brag. What have you achieved in your career at this point?

Step 2: Add up all the hours that you dedicate to sport. Training with your team and on your own, strength and conditioning, skills and drills at home, privates, and film. Take credit for all the hours that you put into optimizing your performance. Be sure to count past seasons as well…I suspect that you have hundreds of hours banked by this point. All of this dedication means that you are set up for success (including making mistakes and bouncing back from them).

Step 3: Focus on the things that you have control over: Your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Stop getting distracted by the rest of the stuff (coaches, teammates, refs, competitors, and fans).

Step 4: Pour your heart into your performance. Fear and passion are mutually exclusive – meaning that you can ONLY play out of fear or, instead, you can choose to compete out of love for the sport, gratitude for all of the people who support you, and joy for the competitors around you. Compete from your heart and trust (per the confidence equation) that your success will fall into place.

Building confidence is a daily act. Replace your familiar perfectionistic thoughts and rituals with these concrete steps towards developing a strong foundation for confidence.

Today is the day to stop hoping to feel confident and start thinking confidently.

Not sure how to beat perfectionism on your own? Book a free discovery call today to learn more about how Athlete Insight can help you!